dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You ruined the universe
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
