Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i think i just lost a toe
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
