If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
