all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
