i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
