I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
