i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
