I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
