Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
