you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
