Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
