never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
