I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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