girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
