My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
