Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
