like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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