So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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