grandma shit on top of the toilet
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
