Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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