does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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