well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
