we're chasing vodka with high fives
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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