Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
barbara walters just said penis...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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