oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
