Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
