It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
