I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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