I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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