You can't special order awesome
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
