I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
