it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
