maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
