somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
