Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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