no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I would fuck him just for his dog
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
