Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
