omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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