Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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