It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
