You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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