hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
NoShamevember. You game?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
