She is in my trunk
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
