oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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