my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
