He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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