Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
