So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
