would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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