thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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