I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
